


Communication is Key

by caffeinelemur



Category: One Piece
Genre: Kittens, Sanji pining, Snow, Social Anxiety, Zoro being tsundere, Zosan secret valentine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:07:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinelemur/pseuds/caffeinelemur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zoro hates parties and people and literally anything social, Sanji can't express feelings correctly without being an ass, and they should really talk to each other more to prevent these kinds of things. One-shot.<br/>Written for the ZoSan Secret Valentine exchange for torchi-chan on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Communication is Key

 Zoro knew right off that he wanted no part in this ridiculous party, he knew straight away that he would not go on his own, and as such it would take a lot to get him to go even with his few friends. Since he had no idea if any of said friends were even invited, he was far less inclined to go.

 Yet his stupid not-really-friend thought this thing sounded like the greatest thing ever for some reason, and the idiot wanted _Zoro_ to go with him, which make no sense to Zoro as the moron typically held him in the lowest of regard.

 Zoro didn’t like parties, or any kind of social gathering, and his friend group knew that. They ignored it a lot of the time (especially Luffy, who loved dragging the elder off to random parties, mostly because free food), but they _were_ all aware.

 Robin liked to pin legitimate psychological issues on their various character quirks, and had so many doctorates she was probably qualified enough to do so. She made a point to call his adverseness to parties, “social anxiety,” which was ridiculous, because he was not _afraid of people_ or something, and he certainly wasn’t going around freaking out if he did go to a party, so obviously he wasn’t anxious or messed up in the head. He just didn’t like large groups of drunken people blundering into him, and he was a human being, not a plant as the mosquito-incense said, and as such could dislike things without having a mental disorder, _thank-you-very-much._ The whole thing was annoying.

 He never mentioned to Robin (or really tried thinking about) the apprehension he swallowed down every time he entered a crowded room, or how he did everything he could to procrastinate going to the grocery store or anyplace public until he absolutely had no choice, or even his tendency to leave early during parties that his friends dragged him off to, usually without telling anyone because the atmosphere maybe got a bit too much and he needed to go outside to breathe. None of these things that he refused to acknowledge meant he was _afraid_ of anything, so he obviously he didn’t have any frigging anxiety.

 But here the idiot eyebrow monster was, trying to talk him into going with him to a “mixer,” whatever the hell _that_ meant; one that most likely _didn’t_ include any of their other friends because the pervert kept going on about “meeting new people” and “maybe getting a date” and went so far as “maybe even you have a chance at something, you big green ape,” and withthat type of talk, he probably was trying to hook up with girls again, and now was getting Zoro roped into his dissolute shenanigans.

 Zoro held no interest in _that_ sort of thing, so he had no idea what swirly was thinking, trying to get him to come to some hookup party when he _hated parties_ and held _no interest_ in hooking up with _anything_.

 “I’ll let you loose on the booze supply and you don’t have to talk to anyone,” Swirls finally said in a flat voice, giving him an unimpressed look, before snorting and continuing, “but its not my fault if you remain alone forever.”

 “Is this one of those high-schooly hook-up things, like in anime? With karaoke and shit? You know, were the guys are pervs and the girls giggle a lot?” Zoro said suspiciously. He wanted no part of that, regardless of the free booze.

 “No! Wait, what? Why are you basing this on anime?” the blond asked, exasperated. “You can’t base real life on anime, you big loser!”

 Zoro snorted. “That’s rich, coming from Mr. Prince, ruler of the shitty romance genre fantasies.”

 Zoro smirked as his sort-of friend turned red and puffed on his ever-present cigarette instead of retorting. “I know you used to have vivid dreams of yourself dressed as a prince on a white horse rescuing Robin in a princess outfit. Do you still have those? Because I think Franky might react poorly to hearing that.”

 He chuckled as the other swatted his arm incessantly but without any real force, the visible part of his face very flushed.

 “You ass! I told you that in confidence while drunk, how dare you bring that up again!! You must have broken some kind of…of friendship _don’t-bring-up-things-your-friend-told-you-when-drunk_ law, or the _bro-code_ or something!” The embarrassed cook hissed.

 “Bro-code? You watch too many sitcoms. Though you and Barney have some things in common, mostly being sexist pervs.” Zoro said dryly.

 “Shut up. You watch too much anime, you otaku idiot.”

 “You don’t even know what that means, _kuso aho-cook. Damare. Shinjimae_!”

 “Don’t pull your foreign-ese crap on me, you moss! I’m sure you’re just as stupid and vulgar in Japanese as you are in English!”

_______________________________________________________

 Zoro eventually acquiesced to the bribe of free booze and was reluctantly sitting in the passenger’s seat of the cook’s stupid-looking baby blue Prius, driving past thick-looking woods on their way to some party that was apparently being held in a cabin in the wilderness, because meeting with strangers in the middle of a secluded forest made so much sense. How he got himself in these situations, Zoro had no idea, but here he was, tempered and chained by the offer of near-unlimited boozing power. With the eyebrow of all people.

 Now, for the most part, Zoro really had no issue with the cook, he respected him on the whole, but he was nearly always at Zoro’s throat, even though all Zoro really disliked about him was the way he treated the different sexes, which was extremely offensive to Zoro personally, and whenever he tried to mention this, he was called an “unappreciative ape” and other insults of similar quality, so he just accepted that the pervert cook hated him, and he was not going to change his ways anytime soon. But the cook wasn’t that bad of a person when he looked past that one flaw. He was such a dork sometimes, and was stupidly kind, and stubborn, and intelligent, and was a magnificent chef with superb knife skills. His eyebrows were _so_ stupid, though.

 Fundamentally, they were friends, even if they were fighting more often than not when they were together. They understood each other better than most, and they could sit in the occasional comfortable silence, like now, as they drove through miles of woodland.

  _This kind of quiet camaraderie isn’t too bad_ , Zoro mused as he stared out the window.

 _______________________________________________________________________________________

 Sanji was officially freaking out.

 Why the hell did he think this was a good idea? Inviting the frigging mossbrain to a mixer? Why did he do these things to himself? This was going to end poorly and he knew it and it was _all his stupid fault_ because he just wanted to know if his green-haired compatriot actually had the capacity to feel attraction, and if so, to what gender, because he was tired of passive-aggressively trying to get his attention.

 He’d known his sexuality at an earlier age than most, and he knew that while he mostly preferred girls, sometimes there’d be one guy and he’d fall hard. The first time he’s seen the mossy idiot, he was slammed by how attracted he was to him, but who wouldn’t be? That tanned skin, the lithe muscles, the way his whole back just rippled when he moved his arms, his stupidly intense gaze. He was hot, and Sanji knew it, but he was also a muscle-bound idiot and the likelihood of him being anything but straight was slim, regardless of his interesting jewelry.

 But as Sanji got to know him, he realized Zoro was much more than a muscle-bound idiot (not that much more, he told himself) and that made everything worse. Because now Sanji had seen his sensitivity, his stupidly sweet smile, his perceptiveness, his kindness; and while he was still _such_ a moron, Sanji knew him well enough to know he’d fallen so very hard for his friend and he was absolutely done for, because not _once_ had he seen Zoro show attraction to _anyone_ , male or female, so he figured there was absolutely no chance for _him_.

 But he was so fed up at this point that he was doing all this just to figure out Zoro’s sexuality and either freaking confess or forget about it; he needed to get this shit over with.

 As they drove toward the ever-looming party, Sanji snuck glances every so often to the mossball in his passenger’s seat. Zoro was leaning toward the window, with his elbow propped up and his chin in his hand, staring lazily out at the passing trees. Sanji could see the muscles in his arm shift as he changed position, and it was clear that Zoro’s arms held his strength, his training in kendo and swordsmanship was no secret.

 The look on his friend’s face kept distracting Sanji, he seemed so at peace and serene, maybe a bit sleepy, and the usual grumpiness was not there. Sanji had never noticed how long and dark Zoro’s eyelashes were, it was like he used mascara or something. The moss was weird though, so for all Sanji knew he did wear makeup, crazy bastard. He didn’t seem the type to care about appearances, though, so it was probably a natural thing.

 And Sanji just spent several minutes in a car ride with the person he was attracted to debating whether or not said man wore makeup, and generally ruminating his attractiveness; shit, this had to stop soon.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 Zoro was done with this whole trip as soon as they entered the cabin, which in all honesty was less of a cabin and more of a lodge, a very large lodge for rich people, which was something Zoro was not. There was a group of about seven people sitting on a conglomeration of a few overstuffed sofas, talking amongst themselves.

 Zoro immediately spotted one girl, leaning against the wall with a cup of something hat in hand, smiling and nodding along with the conversation.

 There was nothing special about her, nothing differentiated her from the rest of the group, other than the fact that she looked _exactly_ like an elder version of Zoro’s deceased foster sister.

 She pushed her dark bangs back with a slight laugh, just like Kuina used to, and Zoro nearly lost it right there.

 This was going to be a long day. He needed the free booze now more than ever.

 The cook seemed to have no qualms getting acquainted with everyone (it probably helped that five of the seven were female) while Zoro silently drank through the group’s supply of shoddy beer and tried desperately to look everywhere but at the lookalike girl. Just then Sanji managed to get her into a tizzy about being sexist and Zoro looked up from his self-imposed isolation to watch in proud amusement as the idiot got his ass handed to him. The subject matter itself though reminded Zoro fiercely of Kuina, and it was like she hadn’t died, but was right there berating another self-important asshole. He felt a sharp pang and felt like he was going to either throw up or cry, and he wasn’t a baby so he refused to do either of those and took a huge gulp of beer.

 At some point, Zoro couldn’t say exactly when, Sanji had miraculously appeared in front of him. “Oi moss, I have someone who wants to meet you.”

 And standing behind him was the look-alike girl.

 “This is Tashigi, she’s another Japanese sword enthusiast, like you.”

 Zoro gulped. He couldn’t speak to her; not now, especially not sober. So he abruptly stood, threw a polite, “ _Hajimemashite_ ,” toward the look-alike, and headed toward the door.

 “The hell? That was rude! Oi! Zoro, where are you going?” Sanji shouted after him.

 “Outside,” Zoro replied shortly. “I need some air.”

 “It’s freezing and the snow’s already started! Don’t be an idiot!”

 “Only I have the right to call me an idiot,” Zoro mumbled before vanishing outside into the slowly forming blizzard.

_________________________________________________________

 

 After about three minutes, Zoro realized he had no idea where he was. He also realized that he _was_ an idiot because it was freaking subzero and he was only wearing a thin t-shirt and a hoodie. He wandered around in the large snowy forest, the flakes spinning about in little swirls around him. It was really beautiful, the white and the brown, and if he wasn’t freezing to death he’d be mesmerized.

 Zoro only paused in his icy but determined trek when he heard a small sound from under a nearby tree.  Investigating further, he realized it came from a very small and pitiful looking black and white kitten, curled into a tight little ball in the crevice of the tree’s roots. It looked up at him, shivering violently and half-covered in snow, with big, sad blue eyes, and made the weakest, most doleful, tiny sound.

 That gaze trapped Zoro.

 _________________________________________________________

 Sanji had no idea what was going on, or why he thought bringing the rude mosshead to a social gathering was a good idea. So now, instead of sipping warm cocoa with the nice ladies, he was outside in the freezing snow searching for a wayward swordsman.

 If Zoro had been attracted to anyone it’d be that sword loving Japanese girl he’d been eyes the whole time, so Sanji tried to introduce them, by request of Miss Tashigi, but he was quietly seething in jealousy the whole time. If Zoro was interested in a girl, he was probably straight which meant Sanji had no chance. Unless he was bisexual, like Sanji, but if he was really interested in Tashigi than it wouldn’t matter. But instead of showing any positive reaction, the idiot mossball up and left in the middle of a shitty snowstorm, and now Sanji had to go look for his perpetually lost ass.

 Sanji followed the already partially covered boot tracks through the forest. It was very beautiful, with sparking icicles and snow fluttering around, and if Sanji hadn’t been searching for an idiot, he’d be enraptured.

 Eventually, as he trekked through the cold, rubbing his mitten-covered hands together, he came across a large lump of snow with a green crown on top, sitting up against a large tree. Sanji snorted, trust the Mossman to take a nap and get covered in snow.

 “Oi, dumbass, how asleep are you? Can you even feel anything at this point?” He nudged the snow mound with the toe of his boot. “Zoro?”

 He sighed and started digging Zoro out of the mound of snow, and was struck with a surprise. Zoro was no longer wearing his oversized black hoodie, but was sitting there in just his short sleeved t-shirt, with the aforementioned sweatshirt balled up and wrapped around something, and held tightly in his arms. Sanji heard a contented mew and saw big blue eyes looking at him from inside the hoodie nest. Sanji smiled tenderly at the sight of the small kitten wrapped up in Zoro’s hoodie.

 “You big softie,” He said affectionately, gently brushing chunks of snow out of his friend’s short green hair.

 Upon second glance, however, Sanji noticed how Zoro wasn’t snoring like he usually did when napping, and that the skin around his lips were turning a faint blue. He’d not fallen asleep, he’d probably passed out.

 “Shit!”

 The blond carefully removed the tiny kitten and put it inside his big winter jacket, and tried to get the probably hypothermic swordsman back into his sweatshirt. He then lifted the heavy, muscular man onto his back to the best of his ability and wrapped his arms around Zoro’s legs. He went as fast as he could back toward the cabin.

____________________________________________________________ 

 Zoro woke up to a strange tingling in his libs and a rough tongue licking his nose. He opened his eyes to see the same blue eyes that he’d last seen staring back at him. He grunted and sat up slowly, looking around. He was somehow back in the giant not-cabin, on one of the sofas and under like six blankets, with the tiny kitten he’d tried to rescue sitting next to him, purring and looking a lot less miserable than the last time he’d seen her.

 “Oh, good, you’re awake.”

 Zoro turned to see Sanji returning from what Zoro assumed was the kitchen, holding two large steaming mugs.

 “You dumbass, who takes off his only coat to save a kitten? This isn’t some manga.” The cook said, handing him one of the mugs. He eyed it warily before taking a large sip. Hot chamomile tea.

 Sanji noticed his suspicious look. “What, you think I’d give you something else? I know you don’t like chocolate, and you may be dehydrated so you shouldn’t have alcohol yet.”

 The cook sat next to him on the sofa, setting his own mug down on the side table. 

 “What happened?” Zoro grunted. His head hurt and he was tired.

 “Like the idiot softie you are, you passed out and nearly froze to death trying to save a kitten, and by the time I carried you back here everyone had left.”

 “You carried me back?” Zoro was surprised. The kitten had since laid claim to his lap, and was purring contentedly as he gently rubbed behind her ears.

 Sanji reacted more strongly than Zoro expected, flushing and snapping, “I was worried you idiot! You could’ve died!”

 Zoro was taken aback, the cook cared about him that much? He’d never shown Zoro anything but casual distain and the occasional mutual vague camaraderie, and now all of a sudden he was acting like they were best friends!

 Zoro didn’t know how to react, so he settled on their usual back-and-forth. “I thought that would’ve made your day, cook. Didn’t you say like two days ago that I should, quote, ‘get lost straight off a cliff,’ as it would solve all your problems?”

 “Yeah, but I didn’t actually _mean_ it!” Sanji retorted vehemently. “Is it so hard to believe I actually _care_?”

_________________________________________________________________________

 Judging by the confused and slightly bewildered look on Zoro’s face, Sanji must’ve really screwed up. This whole time Sanji had been trying to get his attention, he’d actually been convincing Zoro that he hated him, when in reality it was precisely the opposite! He had to fix this, quickly.

 “I know we argue and snipe at each other all the time, but you’re still my friend, I don’t want you to fucking die, Zoro!” He all but shouted. “Shit!”

 Zoro just kept looking at him with those composed, penetrating eyes.

 Sanji flung up his hands. “Say something already, you big idiot!”

 “So you’re saying that you don’t actually hate me?” Zoro finally responded.

 “I don’t know, right now I kind of do.” Sanji grumbled, crossing his arms and looking away. Zoro stared at him. He could _feel_ Zoro staring at him. He finally relented, “Fine! No, I don’t hate you.”

 “Oh.” There was a pause. “Alright then.”

 “What?! That’s all? I say all this stupid emotional shit and all I get is ‘alright then’?”

 “What do you want me to say? I never hated you. You’re actions regarding gender offend me, but otherwise I respect you. I just assumed you disliked me for some reason and went with it.” Zoro responded a tad more heatedly.

 “Well, you’re an idiot!” Sanji snapped, grabbing the mosshead’s shirt.

 “So are you!” Zoro responded, doing the same.

 They were snarling in each other’s faces and Sanji was overemotional, and he fervently decided _the hell with this_ and slammed their mouths together.

 Zoro was completely surprised, and let go of Sanji’s shirt as the cook kissed him for all he was worth. Sanji didn’t know what was going to happen after this, but he was thoroughly enjoying the moment.

 _______________________________________________________________

 Zoro was so confused.

 The cook was _kissing_ him. _Sanji_ was _kissing_ him! What?

 He’d never kissed anyone or been kissed by anyone before, and so he just sat there as Sanji just _did_ stuff to his mouth.

 He was fully aware of how flushed he now was, and that he could push the cook off if he wanted to, but found he didn’t actually _want_ to stop.

 Eventually, the cook stopped his assault ant backed up, looking like he was mentally preparing for a fight or something. Zoro just sat there, eyes wide, face red, brain still trying to comprehend _what the fuck was going on_ …

 “What?” He was finally able to speak, and if it was a bit squeaky and breathless, Sanji didn’t say anything.

 “Tch,” Sanji looked away, blushing.

 Zoro’s ability to go with the flow finally kicked in enough for his blush to lessen slightly, and for him to comprehend the situation enough to ask, “How long?”

 “Most of the time we’ve known each other.” Sanji replied, still not meeting his eyes.

 “The hell didn’t you tell me, you giant _baka_?!?”

 Sanji’s head whipped up to look at Zoro. “Wha??”

 “If you’d told me, we could’ve figured this thing out a while ago.” Zoro chided with a frown, chopping Sanji on the head with the side of his hand.

 Sanji looked at him, dazed, rubbing his head. “You mean… you’re considering..?”

 “Well, I’ve never thought about it before, but I wasn’t all that opposed to the kissing thing you did just now, so there’s that.” Zoro mused.

 Sanji’s bemused meekness quickly fell away to a lecherous grin. “Well then, it looks like I have lots to show you. Think you can handle it, mossy?”

 Zoro smirked back mischievously, “I look forward to it, love-cook. Bring it on.”

  The kitten in Zoro’s lap mewed loudly, ruining the moment, and tried to scratch at Sanji’s leg for disturbing her sleeping spot.

 Zoro burst into laughter and Sanji shoved him away, before turning his back to the two.

 “Idiot felines, the both of you.” Sanji muttered to himself, as Zoro sniggered behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my contribution to the ZoSan Secret Valentine exchange thing, hope it's okay. I suck at writing romance, sorry, the curse of being asexual I guess. I tried! 
> 
> Japanese used:  
> kuso- shit  
> Damare- Shut up/ Shut the hell up  
> Shinjimae- Go to hell  
> baka- stupid/ idiot


End file.
